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Ain’t Divorce Grand

Oh this is the hardest song I have to sing tonight
But I feel compelled to tell ya’ll my story
We’re talkin’ about divorce here
You know I’ve been there and came out much happier
But I was lucky, cause let me tell you divorce isn’t always so grand

Too much tequila in the hot tub
Swappin’ stories with the lost club
Felt like a cat slept on my tongue that night
Prayin’ to the porcelain God it’s a fright
Oh ain’t divorce grand
Oh ain’t divorce grand

I’ve heard stories that’ll curl your hair
Bout nannies in sexy underwear
Then there were those videotapes
She found in the toolbox by mistake
Oh ain’t divorce grand
Oh ain’t divorce grand

Chorus
Well ain’t this new day grand
You’ve gotta take life by the hand
Dive right in to ecstasy
Only to find misery
Knock, knock, knockin’ at your door
Didn’t we think there would be more
Be more than this
Oh ain’t divorce grand

Ya know my new husband well he’s my very best friend. But his ex wife she left him for his best friend and well she was my best friend at the time and now her ex who’s my husband is my very best friend… so I guess it’s all good. But speaking of exes, I’ve got one more very, very personal story to tell.

Well I thought my ex was seeing someone new
I was happy we were finally through
Till I found out he was really a f… jerk
Dating a lovely man named Kirk
Oh ain’t divorce grand
Oh ain’t divorce grand

(Chorus)